Children who grow in violent homes continues the trend of violence

Sukai Bojang

When children grow up in a home where their mother is beaten by their father, the male child is likely to continue the violent traits of his father while the female child will endure violence like her mother did when she found herself in an abusive relationship says Sukai Bojang, a seasoned civil servant and Women’s Right advocate.

She was speaking to this medium in an interview on Thursday, 8th August 2024, at her office in Kotu, on the issue of women who endure abusive relationships for the sake of their children in the Gambia.

She said, “As a married woman if your husband beats you up once, twice and does it the third time, you should run away for your dear life and go and fend for yourself and your kids. If you stayed and he ended up killing you, you are the one who killed yourself."

She added that many men in this country will not lift a finger on a woman and when women leave a violent man, they will meet someone else who will love and value them.

“If you decide to stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of your children and let a man kill you, your children will suffer and become stepchildren of another woman," she said.

Mrs Bojang said women in an abusive relationship lose confidence in themselves and suffer from low self-esteem which is very bad.

She said, "The children you want to stay for if they see you being beaten by their father, the male children will also beat their wives when they are grown and married, while the female children will also endure and accept abuse from their husbands. This is how the trend of domestic violence continues in our society," she said.

She added that it is a vicious cycle that should not be allowed to continue and the best way to solve the problem is to leave the relationship.

“How many divorces are we seeing in this world? As a woman, you are not special if things do not work out for you," she said.

She advises women to leave abusive relationships, get a job and work hard to bring their children up the right way. 

"I am totally against violence against women and girls, be it physical, verbal, sexual and emotional. I wouldn’t even want my children seeing me quarrelling with their father talk less of being beaten in front of the children," she said.