Semester Wife: A Tale of Pain, Resilience and Endurance

PC: Getty Image 

Part One: 

"Over my dead body would I allow you to bring another woman into my home to share in the blessing that I laboured for and plant a seed of discord between me and you", said Mamanding to her husband over the phone.

When the phone conversation ended, I heard a deep, heavy sigh from Mamanding, accompanied by silent sobs. I stayed still on the mat I was praying on and dared not to make a sound. I listened to the sad, painful sobs coming from the other room, silent but filled with pain.

I kept wondering, is it the pain of wasted years she endured with this man? Or is it the pains of sexual starvation she endured waiting, hoping and praying for her husband to get the necessary papers from Europe to come back home and fulfil his manly duties, or is it the pain from more than a decade of running from one marabout to another, spending her meagre resources and giving out charity so that her husband can make it in Europe and return home to wipe her tears. Maybe it is the years she spent fighting to stay in the marriage.

I sat on the Mat until the sobs were replaced by a soft snore. I tiptoed to her bedroom and peeked through the slightly open door. There she was on the floor, fast asleep with her face covered in dry tears. I look at this woman, who used to be the envy of all women in our neighbourhood in Bakoteh, but now old age has caught up with her, coupled with the stress of fighting to remain the only wife of a man who cares only about his desires. I asked myself, being a semester wife, is it worth it? 

Mamanding and her husband, Molfa Manneh, got married in the late 2000s. They had two kids, a boy and a girl. When the rumours of the “backway” irregular migration to Europe started, her husband was among the first youths from Serrekunda who decided to taste the waters and venture into the “backway” to Europe in search of greener pastures. Mamanding was nursing her second child, a daughter, when her husband left. She went to stay with her father, praying and hoping that her husband would cross the Mediterranean Sea safely and that she would be counted among the semester wives at the time. 

Her Husband, Molfa, got stuck on the way because his brother, who promised to pay for him, abandoned him to his misery. When Mamanding was told the bad news, she came crying to her father and pleaded for her father to help her husband cross the sea to Europe. Her Father refused at first, saying that there was no guarantee that the man would pay back the money. Mamanding insisted and went on a hunger strike to pressure her dad to help her husband. Her father gave in to his daughter's pressure and paid the money for his son-in-law to get to Europe.

The Journey became successful, and Molfa made it to Spain in one piece. Molfa like every other illegal migrant in Spain, started the hustle. He was a man of his word because the first thing he did was to pay back his father-in-law's Money.

Mamanding starts enjoying the life of a Semester Wife. Mamanding’s enjoyment caught the attention of the Family members of Molfa, his brothers, who think that they are equally entitled to his imaginary wealth. The fight to control Molfa started with both parties spending their resources visiting different Marabouts seeking help.

First Betrayal:

One Faithful day, when Mamanding, like every other woman, was preparing for the feast of Eid-ul Adha, locally known as “Tobaski” in the Gambia, she received a call from her husband to go and receive money from the same person she had received money from.

Mamanding wasted no time and excitedly rushed to the place to receive the money amounting to more than 100 thousand Dalasis. Unknown to Mamanding, the husband told his brother Mbemba about the money, and Mbemba insisted that he should be the one to collect the money, and the Husband agreed.

Luckily, Mamanding got there before Mbemba. Mbemba told Molfa that the man said he had already given the money to Mamanding. Molfa asked the man to call and asked Mamanding to return the money to him and give the money to his brother.

The Man decided to give the same amount to Mbemba, hoping that Mamanding would bring back the money given to her. Upon reaching home, the Husband called to say that he changed his mind and asked his brother Mbemba to receive the money this time. Mamanding told him that she had already received the money and she would not return it for her brother-in-law, Mbemba, to receive it. The man who gave her the money also called to say that her husband insisted that she shouldn’t be the one to receive the money and asked her to return the money.

Mamanding defended herself that she has always been the one receiving money from the man, and if her husband did not ask her to, how would she know about the money and the exact amount? She said the money given to her brother-in-law was the man’s decision, but she would not return the money to him. All efforts from the Husband and brother-in-law to get the money from Mamanding were futile.

With the influence of the brother-in-law, Molfa accused his wife of stealing his money and asked the man to drag her to court. The Court case was being heard at one of the Magistrate Courts. It dragged on for months, and there was a day when the court security barged into the home of Mamanding’s father and emptied the house, claiming it was a court order.

Eventually, Molfa returned the money to the Man, and the case was withdrawn. Mamanding wanted to file for a divorce, but her Father refused and begged her to stay in the Marriage. Molfa’s Brother, Mbemba, ended up having the upper hand in the fight to control the assets of Molfa. Mbemba started receiving money from Molfa to buy commercial vehicles and put them on the Road, and he was also tasked to buy land and build it for him. Mbemba bought the vehicles and also bought land on the swampy areas of Talinding Farokono and built two line house bungalows for Molfa.

To be continued…….. 

Author: Matou